A big mistake
"You can't say that to me".
"You're being ableist".
"You're triggering me right now!".
I understand the desire to make these kinds of statements. But they're a mistake. It might feel like you're taking control in the moment. But, really, you're destined to burn out trying to control everything around you.
Even if I give you a billion lifetimes, you'll never control what everyone around you is doing and saying.
So what's the alternative?
To learn to handle reality.
Reality is what already happened. It ain't gonna change.
There are more than eight billion on this planet with individual agendas, desires, and fears. They're working by their sweat of their brow to make things the way they want it.
(do you hear how egotistical that sounds?)
But this approach does not work.
It leads to frustration, burn out, and (way too often) depression.
And, because everyone else is trying to get what they want, they don't care what you want.
Try this instead:
Meditate in the morning. Not to feel calm (although that often happens). But to recognise that you are not the voice of the mind, you are the one who hears it.
When finished, set an intention.
Here are a few I often use:
"Let whatever happens, happen"
"Ignore every single word my personal mind is saying today"
"Remember that The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences"
Then start your day.
Now, with your intention set (and knowing you're not the voice of the mind) you can attempt to accept reality and let go of your need to control it.
This will be very painful.
It'll take immense focus.
Your psyche will be screaming at you to fix, change, alter reality. But if you just hang on, keep relaxing, keep letting go, in time you'll realise you're able to handle what you previously couldn't.
Then, in a year or two, if you're really committed you'll wonder why you were ever bothered about those things. You'll literally laugh at your former self with all its fears and desires.
This is when life becomes one big festival of joy.
When nothing can harm you.
The first step is avoid the biggest mistake of all. Believing you can control everything. Because you can't. And never will be able to.